dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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