Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
