you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
