This girl is more easily done than said...
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
