dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You are a genius and a whore.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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