I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
