You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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