By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
please don't ironically join a cult
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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