Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
