his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
She announced her abortion via fbk
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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