so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
this boner is exhausting
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
