well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
