I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
