I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
