I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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