plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
