Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
