am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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