Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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