Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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