I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
