Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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