I feel like I'm in dance class right now
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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