mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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