OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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