she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
