Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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