He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
