walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Randomize
