no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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