Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
