He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
