At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
