The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
