You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
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