Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
