Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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