And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
