WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
