And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
