Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
