Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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