glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
