She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Do you still have your period?
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Randomize
