Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
