Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
