Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
