How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
