At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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