I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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