No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
