Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
